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When asked to write an essay on someone who has had a significant impact on my life, my mind draws a blank picture upon a non-existent canvas. Sure, I’ve had my family, and have seen many on television who have the qualities that one may want to look up to, but none of them ever felt worth the title of my role model. I didn’t want to be like a famous figure. I didn’t want to be like my mom; I never really had someone to look up to. I never had a father figure in my life and yet, he has become one of the most impactful factors associated with who I have become.
I wouldn’t really call a man in a state penitentiary a role model, nor someone to look up to, which is exactly why I am writing about him. My father, was never there for me. I never had that strong male role model or influence, I never was encouraged to go outside and get dirty, never disciplined by someone masculine. I went my whole life without having that “manly influence” contributing to my personality. For most of the years, it was only my mother and me, while my father spent the earnings of his gambles in the Stripe City.
The lack of a father-figure forced me to attempt to find my own identity, not related to my others. My mom is a very feminine woman, with standard interests a young woman may have. This was fine for my younger self to take after, but separated me from the “other guys”. As I grew, I discovered the desire to become a guy, to enjoy manly things, to feel more like my assigned gender. I had to push out of hiding from under my mother’s wing and attempt to fly myself. This was a major struggle for me. My community didn’t care for me to change, and I was not happy with their impression of me. I continued to fight until I was happy with who I became, the fatherless kid whom, in a way, became his own father figure. In the end, I thank my father for giving me the biggest of all which contributed to who I am today: not being there.
I wouldn’t really call a man in a state penitentiary a role model, nor someone to look up to, which is exactly why I am writing about him. My father, was never there for me. I never had that strong male role model or influence, I never was encouraged to go outside and get dirty, never disciplined by someone masculine. I went my whole life without having that “manly influence” contributing to my personality. For most of the years, it was only my mother and me, while my father spent the earnings of his gambles in the Stripe City.
The lack of a father-figure forced me to attempt to find my own identity, not related to my others. My mom is a very feminine woman, with standard interests a young woman may have. This was fine for my younger self to take after, but separated me from the “other guys”. As I grew, I discovered the desire to become a guy, to enjoy manly things, to feel more like my assigned gender. I had to push out of hiding from under my mother’s wing and attempt to fly myself. This was a major struggle for me. My community didn’t care for me to change, and I was not happy with their impression of me. I continued to fight until I was happy with who I became, the fatherless kid whom, in a way, became his own father figure. In the end, I thank my father for giving me the biggest of all which contributed to who I am today: not being there.